Have you ever done something you told yourself you'd never do?

I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too!

this is stupid.

Alcohol and Drugs

Have you ever tried alcohol?:
yes.

Did you like it?:
it's fun on occasion. not really my thing. but i LOVE beer.

How old were you when you first tried it?:
like 14

A joint appears in your hand. what do u do?:
smoke that shiiiiiit

Have you ever done any of the more dangerous drugs: heroin, ecstasy, LSD?:
just weed, pills and mdma for meeeee(:

Do you know what huffing is?:

ohh yeah i tried that shit too.

Would you ever do it?:
nahh  not again its fucking dumb

How many drugs have you done?:
a feww(;

Love
Have you ever been in love?:
yes

Are you heartless?:
sometimes i think i am.

Who was the last person of the opposite sex to tell you they love you?:
umm, justin?

Do you believe in sex before marriage?:
mhmm(:

Do you think oral sex is gross?:
definitely not.

Would you ever have it?
adurr.

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?:
absolutely not. i love sex.

Who do you talk to about sex the most?:
uhh, probably aaron(:

This time last year were you dating anyone?:
um no.

Who did you like four months ago?:
my ex boyfriend.

Do you still like them?:
nahh

When was the last time you told someone you liked them as more than a friend:
uhh like a monthish ago.

When's the last time someone told you they liked you as more than a friend?:
same time

Were you talking about the same person in the last two questions?:
yes(:

Random o.O
What are you doing this week?:
working, and stuff.

Have you ever dated a black person?:
yepp.

Do you always text people back?:
not always

What are you listening to?:
the television.

What if you were alone with the last person you kissed?:
oooh that would be nice(:

When's the next time you'll see your best friend(s)?:
idk whenever haha.

Have you ever made out with him/her/them?:

yes, both her and him(:

What movie did you last see in theaters?:
i dont fucking remember.

Do you have a formspring?:
nope!

Do you know anyone who is addicted to anything?:
uh yes?

RIP EYEDEA :(

This past Sunday, the world lost a lyrical genious. Mike Larsen, Eyedea, an underground rapper from St. Paul was found dead by his mother early in the morning. Since the first song I heard by Eyedea and Abilities, they have been a favorite. I was legitimately upset when I heard the news, almost cried. I figured I would dedicate this post to him, and his fucking incredible talent.

RIP MIKEY LARSEN. you will be missed.

Sometimes gunfire's brighter than the sunshine
Sometimes a child's scream influences every dream
Sometimes we fool ourselves into thinkin' we've moved on
But no way, no how, do we ever forget what we've seen

 -A Murder of Memories

Trying to sleep, but the visions give him a cold sweat
The war's been over for two decades, but he still hasn't been home yet
Everyday he wakes and strains to supress his guilt
And forget the horror, the violence, the kill-or-be-killed
Fists are always clenched, teeth are always grindin'
Real life is lost, and in a bottle he tries to find it
"It's not fair", he mumbles through a nightmare
Only in the fight for two years, and wound up spendin' his whole life there
He was face to face with the devil for the "welfare" of his country
Now he's strainin' to live, but his conscience won't let him
It ain't flashbacks, you have to understand the tragedy, see
He left the war, but the war never left him, see

-A Murder of Memories

She's a big shot. You know your dream girl
She knows how to use her looks to take advantage of the world
She's a big shot. You thought you could school her
She dissed you like you were neutered, and told you to go get a
sexual tutor
She's a big shot. She wouldn't touch your ruler
She's so beautiful. A cute but cruel looter, user and abuser
She's a big shot. Your eyes are glued to her behind
You know her steeze, but you fall for it every time

-Big Shot

But now I know what I am, and so to that man I give thanks
I've always lived inside this glass box that reminds him of his head
It just goes to show ya that your minds your own monster
Realities what you make it, if you take it away
Your just a fish, like me, swimming in the powdered water

-Birth of a Fish

Everyone knew she was a special young girl
From her neighbors to her teachers
Some labeled her a prodigy, others called her a genius
It was amazing the way she could play the violin
It made it hard for people to believe that she was only ten
But behind every brilliant mind there lies a monster
This one just so happened to be her father
See daddy was sick, he'd get a rush by playin touchy touch
And tellin her to keep it hush
It was his secret way of loving that he needed someone he could trust
Fucked her head up, sayin if Momma was alive she'd be so proud of us
So she'd hide the desire to die
But if you paid close attention you could see the sorrow in her eyes
Walking around in the only real hell
No one would ever think she'd have such a story to tell
Afraid to go home, afraid to talk, afraid of cryin
She was too young to even know why
And everyday she'd go to the river with a message in a bottle sayin
'Please, God help me I don't wanna live to see tomorrow'
Each day she'd scrounge for a tiny shred of hope
Just to wish the bottle would stay afloat
But every single solitary day, the bottle seems to sink
I don't know why but the bottle always sinks
She never sees it happen, but the bottle always sinks
Now only the bottom of the river knows what she really thinks
She made that violin sing with so much pain
You could almost hear her scream through the strange vibrations
What was once sweet and innocent
Is now riding with the psychotic father
Chose to probe the flowers of the pure and sacred
Her instrument was a rolly tongue
To express the infinite abuse in its depths
At night the footsteps crept to her door and
she'd begin to shake and weep
And with tears rolling down her cheeks she's pretend she was asleep
When the nightmare was over, and the sun dawn is light
She'd retreat to the same place she always did
Rip a page from her diary, and write with all her might
Then send it off into the current, determined to find a way to live

And everyday she'd go to the river with a message in a bottle sayin
'Please, God help me I don't wanna live to see tomorrow'
Each day she'd scrounge for a tiny shred of hope
Just to wish the bottle would stay afloat
But every single solitary day, the bottle seems to sink
I don't know why but the bottle always sinks
She never sees it happen, but the bottle always sinks
Now only the bottom of the river knows what she really thinks
Being a victim of her daddy's hands for so long
She lost the will to move on
Sick of picking up her violin to hide from what's wrong
Exhausted, but stayin strong
She tried to play the bright side, but couldn't bring herself to make
nothing but sad songs
Sick of that sick feeling that stays in her stomach
Sick of waiting for a rescue by someone who found one of her bottles
Sick of being daddy's little secret
She got up at the crack of day and smashed her violin into pieces
Then proceeded to walk towards the river with a plan
Only this time the diary and bottle was in her hand
Just walk with herself, away from the hell
Not knowing at the river bottom lied all the cries for help
It was weeks before they found her dead body
Some fisherman reeled it from the water
like something from a detective novel
Diagnosis: suicide, stemmed from desperation
Was near where she drowned they found about
500 messages in sunken bottles

-Bottle Dreams

Empathy is the poor man's cocaine
And love is just a chemical by any other name

-Burn Fetish

It happens faster than you could ever think
From always and forever to never again in less than a blink
The river runs until it's dry
But I’d die spittin' my last drip into its mouth to keep it alive
Long drives, wide eyes, and your smilin' face
You dance I drink, let's waste the night away
They say you always know right away
But you can't foresee the sand being pulled into the sea under a tidal wave

-By the Throat

You took me by the throat and made me understand the world as if I were you and I couldn't breathe
And you can lead a horse to fresh water but you can't teach it how to be okay when you decide to leave

-By the Throat

Turned hope inside out a thousand times tryin' to see if it was ever anything more than dressed up fear,
But the two go hand in hand you can't have one without the other bein' there
I'm barely breathin' waitin for these screams to end
Beggin' a god I don't believe in to let me sleep so I can dream again
We went through thick and thin
Came out separate on the other end
But please know no matter what you'll always have me as a friend

-By the Throat

I'm goin' crazy outa my control
But there's nothin' I can do, I have no choice but to let it go
Each day gets a little less intense
No longer feel like the skins standin' on my chest
You made me more me, and I won't forget the times you helped my find my feet
When I was buried in my head
Thank you, for givin' what you had to give
Takin' what you had to take,
And makin' me believe in you.
Even though I might be gone forever there will always be a place in my brain that'll think of you.
You look so graceful when you're flyin'
Keep goin', there's a lot of world that you haven't seen,
You have my best wishes, even if only in silence, you deserve everything that you've ever dreamed.

-By the Throat

I turned love inside out a thousand times tryin' to see if it was ever anything more than the will to persevere,
but the two go hand in hand, the clouds surrounding you eventually will clear.
I can breathe I found contentment in the end,
Tellin' a god I don't believe in to go to sleep so I can think again.
We went through thick and thin,
Came out separate on the other end,
But please know no matter what you'll always have me as a friend.

-By the Throat

He once saw a painting that told his whole life story
And I realize that I'm not real
God just imagined me

-Color My World Mine

The mind can't handle that much, it's just insane
It's like reading a book where each words describe your thoughts
And in quotations, it reads whatever you say when you talk
You think it can't happen
But it did happen
I guess there's surprisingly wide cracks in each life's sidewalk
He stumbled upon an answer when he never had a question
And decided to stop dreaming to maintain his mental health

-Color My World Mine

This is a strange universe
Is it all just a blueprint?
In the real universe, is my consciousness useless?
Are we really something a higher intelligence made up?
A figment of imagination colored by a cosmic paintbrush?
Maybe all of our art creates the fate of other beings
Then every character in ever novel thinks it's alive and were
just gods
Ruling blindly
Just a theory
I don't know what it means
But that's the story of the man who trained himself not to dream

-Color My World Mine

But they can’t tell your troubled
as you pick up your pace and sleep alone when the day is done
You used to get in fights for fun
Its your way of getting close to someone when you dont know how to love
I feel sorry for you, even though your fans adore you
The more you try to wiggle your way lose the more you get stuck
You're so sex, You're so drugs
You're so rock and roll, You're so in the moment
You're so self-centered, You're so sad
Cuz your so so so so Cliche'

-Factory

One day I'll be free from the brain
that makes me "me"
Now that I know that I'm in control
I can cut my own puppet strings

-Forgive Me From My Synapses

one day its all gonna shatter
and i hope you're right here

-Glass

There's no hell more harsh than a memory.
There's no home more hell than an empty nest.
Winter takes the warm away.
Spring takes the cold away.
Summer takes the rain away.
and Fall took away my friend.
I believe there's never a place better than right where you are.
although imagining an after life can tend to mend a broken heart,
And with someone dead, it's a way of coping with loss.
But I don't need you out there somewhere if I have you in my thoughts.

-Hay Fever

Having everything's having nothing at all,
I watch you climb your way to the top, and I'll still be here when you fall.
There's no fulfillment in a lazy nation that keeps feeding our infatuation
with the idea of being famous.

-Junk

Everyone wants to get out of the rain
Wants to be free, wants to see no more pain
We're guaranteed that the season will change
'Till then, I'm keeping sunshine on my brain

-Liquid Sovereignty

I'll be writing till I'm dead or maybe till I'm alive
All the emptiness I've bled has only helped me survive

-Music Music

But there's something special about the notes that he hears
Those scales are redemption, unraveling repressed memories
And when he breathes, a new energy enters and consumes him\
To heal his wounds and unseal his doom
If only I could make you understand
But words are just words so I can't
The universe's deepest art form keeps my heart warm with influence
I tell ya
Ain't nothing quite as beautiful as Music

-Music Music

Success aint only based on self esteem
It takes a sense to differentiate between
Whats yours and someone else's dreams

-Now

The average romanticized, American relationship
Sinks, capsized, when either side becomes a slave to it
Conditioned, dependant, afraid to be alone
He needs that feeling that he can't create all on his own
He despises the fact she has a life outside of ‘them'
It drives him crazy to think she's not insanely consumed with him
Give her the guilt trip, and maybe she'll quit livin'
To stay behind his prison walls and loose all individualism
Well, this is happiness, masochistic torture,
Plagued by the decadent, craved for affection
The needle digs deep to push contentment through his blood stream
It drowned out a hollow, the pothole of a junkie
If he could only hear her sing, he wouldn't wanna break her wings
But emptiness has such a warm subtle sting
She makes up for what he lacks,  trapped
He can't imagine life without someone like that.

-Paradise

We've rediscovered the long lost art of dyin'
Only the lonely resent angels for flyin'
Addicted, afraid to take control of my own life
This is paradise

-Paradise

Now every once in awhile, she forgets to breathe
Terrified of loosin' em, paradise is misery
Too much faith in the life-saving knight in shining armor
Now what knight's noticin' the scars she can't hide any longer
But they were her story way before he was

-Paradise

Silence is the most obscure sound I've ever heard
Those lonely, giant spaces in-between your every word
And maybe I'm totally crazy for holdin' on
But, just cause I'm insane don't mean that I'm wrong
Now that you're gone I can't sleep at night, I barely even function right
My memory's on overdrive, to hungry and too cold to cry
Miss the companionship I once took for granted
The way you helped me manage, the partnership that vanished
But I don't expect you to stay chained by the ankle
There's so much world to see, so, fly free ~ my angel
I'm dying without you, but it's teaching me to live
Heaven ain't something someone else can give

-Paradise

We dont know the rules of our heads
From inside these cubicles we cant see the truth
No one really knows exactly what happens when we think
Therefore we can never really ever know anything
This is the consciousness revolution
You got the right to think
Don't think about it just do it

-Powdered Water Too

Lost sleep, tossed and turned, only to learn love is expensive
Talk was cheap, till my thoughts grew feet
Now I take them on walks with me
But don't let them off the leash
Cause they might cross the street and get hit

-Pushing Buttons

I rummage through old love letters
And photographs in a desperate reach for
A clue into who I am
With only the distant past as reference
I fail to feel any connection
To the bones under my skin

-Sky Diver

Bad habits make for good memories

-Sky Diver

By the grace of breeze I never scraped a knee
That didn't help me see nothing's really what it seems

-Sky Diver

When you’ve never been moved makes it really hard to move on.

-Smile

tears soak each card the dealers dealt
But time taught me how to see every second as heaven even though they're perfectly disguised as hell
And I refuse to let past bruises cover the light
it ain't all good, but its all good enough,
so I know I'm alright

-Smile

I can only build if I tear the walls down
even if it breaks me I wont let it make me frown
I'm falling but no matter how hard I hit the ground
I'll still smile

-Smile

But curiosity killed the cat and taught
the dog in him how to act
and it burned his bridge to Jill so he tries to drown the guilt with a bottle of Jack

-Smile

Self proclaimed rebels say "We must oppose the system!"
"You gotta take a stand!" "If your not against them your with them!"
signs read "Support the troops bring em' home!" "No more innocent victims!"
but when a homeless veteran asks for spare change your to busy protesting to even listen
And I'm no different I live in conflict and contradiction but it can be so beautiful
when I don't reject what lies within
It's beautiful the way agony connects us to the living
I think of the world when I hurt, and keep on existing in the now

-Smile

Change is a funny thing. We're never quite sure of what we're becoming or why. Then, one day, we look at ourselves and wonder who we are and how we got there.

Promise yourself to be strong, that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Look at the sunny side of everything and make the optimism come true. Think only the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best. Forget mistakes of the past, and press on to the greater achievements of the future. Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side as long as you are true to the best that is in you.

I care about you, so I'll wait. You dont need to say anything. You just need to know that.

I don't know how to put these words together exactly. I'm trying to stay strong for you, you know. I don't want you to know that I cry. I only want you to know me as the girl who laughs and the girl who can make others laugh. I want you to know me as the girl who can help people, not the girl who doesn't even know what's wrong with herself. I want you to know me as the girl who always smiles that smile, not the girl who's insecure about her personality. I don't ever want to mess up around you, because maybe then, you'll think I'm stupid. I mean, I know no one's perfect and I'm not trying to get that way. I just don't want you seeing me as anything other.

This goes out to all the people who have been broken, but have been strong enough to let go. For the people who have hurt so badly that they felt like they would never love again, but kept their head up. For those who feel like going back to their old lover would put all the pieces back where they belong and everything would fit, but accept the cold hard truth instead. For the people that learn from their mistakes and never stop moving forward, even when they take two steps back. For the people that wish loneliness wasn't a part of them, but put up with it anyhow. For the people that are okay with taking up all of the room in the bed, even if sometimes it feels a little empty. For the people who wake up in the morning with no missed calls, but smile anyway. For the people that periodically miss the past, but are so much more excited for the future. For the people that have so much tied to their past relationship, but break those chains to start fresh. For the people that want to look back so badly, but focus on the road ahead. For the people that pick up the phone, so tempted to call, but keep their dignity intact instead. For the people that never wanted to let go, but had to. For the people that still believe in love after all of the hurt their heart has endured. For all the people that gave up, not because they were weak, but because most of the time, it's better just to let go. We'll get our happy ending some day.

She may have learned the hard way, but at least she learned.

I planned to say all these terrible things to you, but in the end, I just want to tell you I miss you.

Sometimes all I really want to do is sit beside you. I want to watch cheesy and crappy movies with you, and we will laugh at them together. I want to plan things with you, things we'll never do, but for some reason just planning them with you is fine with me. I want to talk to you about everything and anything. I want to goof around with you and make jokes that aren't funny, but we'll laugh at them nonetheless. I just want to fall in love with you over and over and maybe at one point we'll get tired of each other. But until that point, I want you, and just you.

Actions speak louder than words, therefore, fuck what you heard and go for what you see.

I've become content with this life I lead where I drink too much and don't believe in much of anything.

So let's just stay in the moment - smoke some weed, drink some wine. Talk some shit, reminisce. Forever young is on your mind.

I'd give anything, but I wont give up on you. I'd say anything, but not goodbye. I will run with your changes and I'm always on your side, and there's not a word I've ever heard that would make me change my mind.

She loves you more than you can imagine, no matter how much she doesn't show it. But you boy, you need to show her how much you love her so she isn't afraid to show it back.

If the world is still spinning and I'm still living, it wont be right if we're not in it together.

There you have it, folks. Young love - full of promise, full of hope, ignorant of reality. -Valentine's day

Where you're supposed to be there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling into at night. I miss you like hell.

I couldn't tell you why we're best friends, because you wouldn't understand. The explanation is full of too many inside jokes and made up words. It's full of too much care and too many tears. Too many laughs and too many blonde moments. I dont think I will ever be able to give you a better reason, except she's always been there.

I'd rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.

You get a strange feeling when you're about to leave a place, like you'll not only miss the people you love, but you'll miss the person you are now at this time and place because you'll never be this way again.

I have never been strong enough to stay. People always say that walking away is the hardest thing to do, but it isn't. Staying even when you know it will break your heart, is the hardest thing to do. Staying right where you are, waiting for your entire world to be ripped to pieces is much harder than walking away and starting a new one.

This is the city that raised me, with the religion they gave me. now I'm old enough to know my own mind but it was leaving that saved me. I've seen so much that has changed me so just break with your past. Feed your own mind. -Irish son; Brian McFadden

I promise not to make you cry. I promise that I'll leave the second you stop feeling free. I promise that I'll love you like I've never loved anybody else - more than I could love myself. I don't wanna cage you in. I don't wanna take the wind and steal it from the open road you're building your dreams on. I don't wanna own you. I just wanna love you.

You say it's easier to burn than to build. You say it's easier to hurt than to heal. But I say you lose when you give up what you love. And I've lived my life without you long enough.

I don't care what you say to me, as long as it's not a lie.

When you judge someone, you don't define them. You define yourself.

Before you go, just know that I love you and I will never stop loveing you. This is real. You might not realize it yet, but I know. This is forever.

I have a terrible memory. I forget the keys to my car, my clothes for work, my best friends' birthdays, everything. But there are a few things engrained in my memory - the look on your face the first time I met you, the adorable way your smile spreads across your face, every single moment I've spent with you. You know, things like that.

MMMMMMMM BEAUTIFUL :)

People ask me why it's so hard to trust people. I ask them why it's so hard to keep a promise.

And as I gently sip this drink, I think about my lack of a future, and all the places I could learn to fall in love with.

i lub da beatles :)

John Lennon:
[] You were raised by someone other than your parents.
[] You have step siblings.
[x] You get in trouble a lot at school.
[x] Your birthday is in October.
[] You love Elvis.
[x] You don't like organized religion.
[] You like cats more than dogs.
[] You wear glasses.
[x] Your favorite color is green.
[] You hate the dark.
Total: 4

Paul McCartney:
[] One of your parents died when you were young.
[] You are the oldest child in your family.
[] You do well in school.
[] Your favorite color is blue.
[] You are fairly quiet.
[] You are tall.
[] You are conventional.
[] You are a vegetarian.
[] You were born in June.
[x] You had sex at the age of 15 or younger.
Total: 1

George Harrison:
[x] Your parents are still together.
[x] You are the youngest child in your family.
[x] You don't do very well in school.
[] You were born in February.
[] You love gummy bears.
[x(its complicated)] You are religious.
[] You are younger than most/all of your friends.
[] Your favorite color is purple.
[] You are shy.
[] You are mysterious.
Total: 4

Ringo Starr:
[] Your parents separated when you were young.
[] You are an only child.
[] You get sick a lot.
[] You were born in July.
[x] You are one of the oldest of your friends.
[] You are picky about your food.
[x] You really like your independence.
[] You have blue eyes.
[] Your favorite color is red.
[x] You are short.
Total: 3

i'm John Lennon/George Harrison :)